7.02.2014

Fatherhood

Being a father was probably one of the most biggest moments in my life.

I say this because I often reflect on what my life was like as a child and I remember most the moments about it I did not like and wanted to change in my own children lives.

In the beginning of my 3rd grade year, me and my brothers moved to live with our dad. During my 5th grade year, my brothers decided they wanted to move back with our mom. Not wanting to be apart from my brothers I chose to move back with our mom as well.

That moment was when I understood the rift of what happens when parents don't have the luxury of taking care of their children together.

I went alone with my mom to go get our clothes and as I'm packing I remember my dad trying to cope with the situation of having to have his boys move back with their mother.

First time I even seen my dad cry . . . Even though he cried to himself.

I kept quiet the whole ride home . . . Until I was asked why was I quiet and once asked I tried to explain that my dad was crying. But as soon as I went to speak on it I couldn't stop myself from crying.

That moment let me know that I will do any and everything I can to be a full part of my child's life or children's lives.

I currently have 1 daughter and it hurts everyday knowing that she's not being given the current luxury of having both mom and dad at all times. But instead has to go with dad on some days and be with mom on the other days. . . Every week.

Its a lot to deal with emotionally as a parent, but I do the best I can to block out any mental aggravations and focus on being dad.

Every day I pray that God will enable me to be a better dad and father to my daughter Autumn than I aspire to be.

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